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2022-05-20 12:33:08

Whaddid he think the books were gonna break if they hit the floor? With all due respect man the books aren't fragile they're books you can just let them fall on the floor, man. Like, books aren't made of glass, they're made of wood, trees and books. If you let a book fall on the floor it just hits the floor it doesn't break like a thing that's made of glass because books aren't made of glass as stated previously in my review. Imagine with me if you will, a glass thing falling on the floor, okay? Approximately 86% of the time on average based on poll studies and peer reviews, the glass thing will break upon hitting the floor if it fell an average distance of 3 feet or more to the floor whether the floor be made of carpet or wood. However, in all peer reviewed studies at Perkins University and Yale, the same did not happen for books, which as they stated in the first stages before beginning the experiment were not made of glass and were made of wood, trees and books. "As per our studies, 0% of books that were dropped onto the floor broke as though they were something made of glass," claims book expert Alberto Umbrage, "so we have concluded that [the] books will not break if they hit the floor, and therefore, henceforth, if an animator were to animate a cartoon character attempting to catch books falling towards the floor to prevent them from breaking, that would just be ludicrous, so say I Alberto Umbrage, PhD of Perkins University." -Alberto Umbrage, PhD of Perkins University. You see, what I'm getting at from this review is that, as unfortunate as it may sound, I have to take points off of my overall score of this cartoon because you've simply ignored the science of books falling on the ground not being something you need to worry about because unlike a glass thing, they are not fragile and will not break if they hit the ground. Perhaps if you took this cartoon back to the drawing board and replaced the books with something made of glass that might break upon hitting the ground (Reminder: Books do not break upon hitting the ground, the science has proven this) I will give a better review of it. I love everything in this, it shines with so much creative energy but I simply can't give it a perfect score that it so much deserves because the scene with the guy catching the falling books in a panic as though they will shatter like glass (which they WILL NOT because they are BOOKS) has left a knot in my stomach and I simply cannot give this cartoon a perfect review for that reason. I really hope that the scene is redone and we get a re-release of this cartoon where either the scene is entirely removed or is redone to make the falling objects into something made out of glass that would explain why the character is trying to catch them before they hit the floor as he did with the books which would not be harmed if they hit the floor because they are not made of glass. I do not want to be entirely critical without giving any kind of constructive comment however, so I'm going to suggest ideas of how you can improve upon that scene. Hypothetically, and this is just me spitballing, what if the character was pushing something made of glass off of the shelf, instead? Maybe you could use the coffee pot or the mug that was seen earlier in the cartoon, since it would be a creative call-back that would remind the audience and make them point to the screen saying "I know that coffee pot!" or "I know that coffee mug! It was featured earlier in this film!" What I'm saying is that the introduction of the books felt very out-of-nowhere, there were just suddenly books Thanos-snapped into existence. I'm sorry for mentioning Thanos in this review, because Thanos has nothing to do with this review, but I used Him (thanos) as an example of a character (books) being suddenly introduced late in the story without having been mentioned earlier. That's how the books feel, they feel rushed and sloppy, and when they fall towards the ground no normal person would take the effort out of their busy day as an animator to try and catch the books that the crazy little character is pushing off of the high shelf. With that in mind, why is his shelf so high if he's so scared of the books falling and hitting the ground? I don't understand this character's motives, I really feel like he creates problems for himself by having a high shelf that his precious books might fall off of and hit the ground which is just fueling his own unrealistic phobia of books falling on the ground. That's like if someone who was scared of Thanos (See? That's how you do a proper callback to earlier in the story, remember earlier when I mentioned Thanos? I mentioned him Thanos-snapping books into existence in your cartoon. I implore you to take notes, this is how proper storytelling works, remember this for the future or your careers as animators and writers could plummet dramatically!!!) (DRAMATICALLY!!!!!!!) had a Thanos figurine on a high shelf in their room staring at them as they sleep. That person would have nightmares all the time because of Thanos staring at them and scaring them while they sleep. So you're expecting us, the audience, to be able to put ourselves in the shoes of this character who put books on a high shelf while being afraid (Irrationally I might add and will explain later) of books hitting the ground when falling from high shelves? That's ludicrous, and irrational (here is my explanation of why that is irrational, I mentioned earlier I will explain later, it's later, now), because books won't break if they hit the floor like something that is made of glass would. I would believe this character more if he had something made of glass on that high shelf and had a protective pane of glass or perhaps plexiglass to protect those glass objects from falling to the ground. I think that would be a more realistic interpretation of a human character that we expect to look, act and behave like a real human being who doesn't panic when books are being pushed off a high shelf by a cartoon character that came to life and walked out of a drawing. I want to talk about the motives, as well, of the small character and why they pushed the books from the high shelf. It's clear that her motives were to push the books from the shelf to traumatize the young boy who has an irrational (I explained above why the fear is irrational but I will remind the reader here so they don't need to scroll up, books will not break like glass if they hit the ground, several studies were done by Alberto Umbrage PhD of Perkins University PA [I'm so sorry I forgot to mention earlier in my review that Perkins University is in Pennsylvania] concluding that books, unlike glass which will break if hitting the ground over 80% of the time, will not break if they hit the ground) fear of books hitting the ground. The child character risks unfathomable trauma because of this small cartoon character whose motives are to traumatize and attack this character by pushing his books off of his high shelf (WHICH I REMIND YOU IS A POOR CHOICE FOR SOMEONE WITH SUCH AN IRRATIONAL [EXPLAINED MULTIPLE TIMES ABOVE] FEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and we're all supposed to watch that happening and relate to the small character who is attacking this boy's irrational trauma of falling books? I think not. Honestly, sir or madame or many (I will stick with 'many' so as to not offend, allow me to start my sentence over.) Honestly, many, I think that scene just ruined what would otherwise be a perfect watching experience. It is currently 9:12am and I began writing this review at 8:46am, and I was enjoying my morning with a bowl of homemade baked stuffed Ziti n Cheese (I wanted to include the recipe I use which also works for mac n cheese in case anyone wants to try it: Using a medium sauce pan, pour enough milk into the pan to fill it to about 2 inches high, and then set the pan to high heat. Add butter, salt and cayenne pepper, however much of each as you want. Once at a simmer, add your noodles, enough to sit just below the milk while still being partly visible, and reduce to medium heat. Stir occasionally for 8-16 minutes, until the noodles are plenty chewy. Then, add your cheese and turn the heat off but keep the saucepan on the burner, and stir until the cheese has melted and is evenly distributed. Cover the saucepan for 3 minutes, 4 if using ziti instead of elbows, and then uncover and stir. If there's still a lot of liquid, don't worry, give it time to cool and it will thicken into a wonderfully tasty and lightly spicy cheese sauce. Add toasted bread crumbs and enjoy the home-baked taste of real honest mac n cheese, optionally with ziti!) and my breakfast was interrupted by this front-paged cartoon which was great and delightful to watch until the character panicked about some books falling from his high shelf. In the cartoon, the character (Who I am assuming is a fully grown male man? I will refer to him as I referred to you earlier so as to not offend) who is many sees books falling towards the ground and panics to catch them, sighing in relief as none of his precious books hit the ground, only to drop them in the very next scene when the small animated rodent jumps on top of them and does a ballerina twirl. The books still fall to the ground and, wouldn't you know it, none of them shatter or break as if they were made of glass, because newsflash, MANY, the books are not made of glass they are made of wood, trees and books. I don't need to remind you again of Dr. Alberto Umbrage PhD of Perkins University PA's studies that concluded literally 0% of books made of wood, trees and books shatter like an object made of glass upon hitting the floor after falling from a high shelf, but for the sake of keeping the reader of this helpful review (please vote that you find this review helpful, it will help in my career as a reviewer to have this reference in my portfolio, thank you all so much in advance) I will remind everyone: Books do not shatter or break upon hitting the floor because they are not made of glass, they are made of books. In the future, assuming you don't reupload this cartoon with the book scene fixed based on viewer feedback, I hope that we never see another scene of such inexplicable unrealistic and outright insulting to the intelligence of the viewers so-called "comedic exposition" as a bunch of books falling towards the ground and a character very unrealistically going "Woooooaaaahhhh" and trying to catch them all as though they will break upon hitting the ground. I am running out of room to type the rest of this review, so I will summarize here and give a clear and full review score. I am giving this a 4.5 out of 5, because unfortunately while this could have been a perfect animation with clever world building and amazing character design, I am baffled by the wholly unrealistic portrayal of the human(?) character and many's unrealistic reaction to books falling. To summarize, the character sees books falling and, as though they're a stupid idiot, panics and tries to catch the books in a scene that unfortunately drags on for way too long, forcing us to watch this buffoon (Yes, they are a buffoon, A BUFFOON!!!!!!!) stumble and panic and catch books that are falling as though somehow these books are so valuable to him that his judgment has been clouded and he believes that they will shatter like glass upon hitting the ground, which they will not because they are NOT!!! MADE!!! OF!!! GLASS!!! They are made of WOOD!!! TREES!!! AND!!! BOOKS!!! I am risking a heart palpitation if I continue to spike my blood pressure, and my homemade baked ziti n cheese (recipe above) is cold now and I now have to (AM FORCED TO, BY YOU) eat it cold after prying apart the noodles from their cheesy casing that has been created by the homemade cheese sauce coagulating around the noodles fusing them together. Tldr: I like everything about this cartoon I just wish I could relate and empathize with the main character. As an artist myself I was excited to see a protagonist who is an artist in mainstream media, and it saddened me to see how unrealistically he panicked when books were falling from a high shelf that many, themselves, put on that high shelf to begin with. 4.5. Do better next time.

Adam hoses down his kitchen